woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
