Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Randomize
