I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
It's not a walk of shame if you run
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
