Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
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