just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
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Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
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I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize