I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
