Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
