well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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