ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
