She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Houston, we have a blender
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
