I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
