You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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