so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
