So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize