So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
