does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
