Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
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