oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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