All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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