I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
