If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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