I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
