Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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