You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
Randomize
