Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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