I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
