Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Randomize
