alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
