6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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