I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
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