words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Randomize
