I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Cockblock successful. That's for pouring nacho cheese on my flatscreen, asshole.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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