good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heโs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Oh and itโs been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! ๐๐๐๐ฌ๐ณ๐
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