Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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