I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
