Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
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I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
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You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
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