I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
