Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
