Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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