i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
I can text with my tongue
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Randomize
