I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
