she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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