Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
