Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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