what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
