I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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