My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize