I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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