What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
It was like giving head to a cactus.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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