he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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