she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
