I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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