at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
