I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
