i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
I need to sanitize my soul.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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