I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
