Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
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