Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
You're breaking my sexual little heart
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
