she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
