are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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