I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
MIDGETS
????
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
