I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
