the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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