i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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