he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
me + whiskey = a bad person
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
