I'll bet she douches with gravy.
home. puking in laundry basket.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
