I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
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