is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
